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Some film composer in Los Angeles is looking for an assistant on Craigslist, in a very creative way — to wit:

Need driver with own car all day Saturday (tomorrow). We will start around 9 AM on some errands around LA, then drive to Pismo Beach at noon, returning between 7 and 8 PM, depending on traffic. Pismo is just north of Santa Maria and south of San Luis Obispo, approximately 2 ½ hours away. The pay is $20/hour, or about $200, plus gas. Please send an email with your contact number and a time you can be reached this evening. A picture and short letter would also be helpful, especially if you would like to be considered for the permanent position of Composer’s Assistant.

The permanent position of Assistant to a well-known composer of music for film, TV and commercials is opening in January. There has been nearly zero turnover in the 20 years since this business started hiring. Two prior assistants became TV producers immediately after working as the Composer’s Assistant, because of the high level of competency, organization and finesse required, representing him to industry executives, studio producers and international publishers and producers in Cannes, London and Paris, as well as maintaining a high level of visibility in Hollywood. The most successful assistants had similar strengths: Great organizational skills, the ability to project a classy, professional image, and a high level of enthusiasm for the music. The job requires a genuine enjoyment of demanding producers and directors.

For the new assistant, this is a rare chance to learn the music business from a successful composer and publisher during the industry’s most dramatic changes since Irving Berlin started ASCAP a hundred years ago. Unlike her predecessors, this assistant needs to be knowledgeable in electronic content delivery via the Internet, as well as in web design and database management. She will learn how the business of music is done and gain extensive experience in international music publishing, including worldwide rights administration as it is conducted in Europe, Japan, Australia, South Africa and Scandinavia, as well as 30 other countries.

The position includes assisting the Composer in the management of three International Music Publishing houses and the administration of more than 3,000 copyrights from more than 2,000 TV episodes, hundreds of major TV commercials, and more than 200 films broadcast in every country in the world.

Surrounded by horses, dogs, cats, and bare-footed children, the environment is relaxed and a high level of creativity is encouraged. Everyone is free to explore their own personal style, from pink hair and torn fishnets to pin striped suits and pantyhose, as long as the work gets done, and it’s a lot of work, especially with the change-over from CD to online distribution, which will be spearheaded by the assistant.

The Composer is one of Hollywood’s leading music composer/producers, having written the music for 1,000 TV episodes and more than 200 films. Please apply to this advance post about the position if you are interested as the Hollywood Reporter announcement causes a rush of applicants. Preferred attributes are: an outgoing phone personality, great organizational skills, enthusiasm for music and photography (composer is also a professional photographer, author and yoga master), a love of dance (we work with choreographers and dancers), cutting edge fashion (and fashion designers), as well as anime and “New TV”. A WIDE range of taste in music is almost required, as we produce music in every style, without exception, including GOA Trance, electronica, speed metal, orchestral (with real orchestras!), Banda, country western, punk rock, mouth music and everything in between. The position relies heavily on organizational skills, the ability to promote music to DJs and producers, and lining up radio interviews for out of town workshops (easy at the moment because of a recent CD series with such best-selling authors as Deepak Chopra and John Bradshaw). A love of fashion and design is helpful and the ability to create web pages is essential.

Please write ASAP tonight and, considering how late this is going up, please include a morning phone number as well. Good luck. Need driver with own car all day Saturday (tomorrow). We will start around 9 AM on some errands around LA, then drive to Pismo Beach at noon, returning between 7 and 8 PM, depending on traffic. Pismo is just north of Santa Maria and south of San Luis Obispo, approximately 2 ½ hours away. The pay is $20/hour, or about $200, plus gas. Please send an email with your contact number and a time you can be reached this evening. A picture and short letter would also be helpful, especially if you would like to be considered for the permanent position of Composer’s Assistant. More info about that position follows…

The permanent position of Assistant to a well-known composer of music for film, TV and commercials is opening in January. There has been nearly zero turnover in the 20 years since this business started hiring. Two prior assistants became TV producers immediately after working as the Composer’s Assistant, because of the high level of competency, organization and finesse required, representing him to industry executives, studio producers and international publishers and producers in Cannes, London and Paris, as well as maintaining a high level of visibility in Hollywood. The most successful assistants had similar strengths: Great organizational skills, the ability to project a classy, professional image, and a high level of enthusiasm for the music. The job requires a genuine enjoyment of demanding producers and directors.

For the new assistant, this is a rare chance to learn the music business from a successful composer and publisher during the industry’s most dramatic changes since Irving Berlin started ASCAP a hundred years ago. Unlike her predecessors, this assistant needs to be knowledgeable in electronic content delivery via the Internet, as well as in web design and database management. She will learn how the business of music is done and gain extensive experience in international music publishing, including worldwide rights administration as it is conducted in Europe, Japan, Australia, South Africa and Scandinavia, as well as 30 other countries.

The position includes assisting the Composer in the management of three International Music Publishing houses and the administration of more than 3,000 copyrights from more than 2,000 TV episodes, hundreds of major TV commercials, and more than 200 films broadcast in every country in the world.

Surrounded by horses, dogs, cats, and bare-footed children, the environment is relaxed and a high level of creativity is encouraged. Everyone is free to explore their own personal style, from pink hair and torn fishnets to pin striped suits and pantyhose, as long as the work gets done, and it’s a lot of work, especially with the change-over from CD to online distribution, which will be spearheaded by the assistant.

The Composer is one of Hollywood’s leading music composer/producers, having written the music for 1,000 TV episodes and more than 200 films. Please apply to this advance post about the position if you are interested as the Hollywood Reporter announcement causes a rush of applicants. Preferred attributes are: an outgoing phone personality, great organizational skills, enthusiasm for music and photography (composer is also a professional photographer, author and yoga master), a love of dance (we work with choreographers and dancers), cutting edge fashion (and fashion designers), as well as anime and “New TV”. A WIDE range of taste in music is almost required, as we produce music in every style, without exception, including GOA Trance, electronica, speed metal, orchestral (with real orchestras!), Banda, country western, punk rock, mouth music and everything in between. The position relies heavily on organizational skills, the ability to promote music to DJs and producers, and lining up radio interviews for out of town workshops (easy at the moment because of a recent CD series with such best-selling authors as Deepak Chopra and John Bradshaw). A love of fashion and design is helpful and the ability to create web pages is essential.

Please write ASAP tonight and, considering how late this is going up, please include a morning phone number as well. Good luck.

A few days later, that person posted a second ad:

This job is more demanding than it looks. It is really three seperate positions: Personal Assistant/Driver, Executive Secretary and PR Person. Duties include driving music producer/composer to appointments in your car making calls and doing business on the way, on two cell phones, organizing the move to a new studio, keeping both business and personal appointments, as well as managing, and sometimes initiating, several projects at once, some on your own, so that you need to be self-starting and self-disciplined, as well as able and willing to follow directions (even ones that sound strange and illogical – this is Hollywood!). Learning on the job is required, so flexibility is essential. Integrity and pride in your work product are needed in this position. The job is about maintaining a vision of the end product and intuitively understanding all the steps needed to move from the present reality to that goal efficiently, economically, and with success.

We’ve received a lot of applications and inquireies with no photo. Please include one – a snapshot will do – it helps to form an overall picture of the person and without it, someone else is likely to be chosen over you.

A knowledge of the film and TV business is helpful, especially the business of film and TV scoring. Musical knowledge is not necessary, or requested, but experience as a Personal Assistant and as a composer’s, actor’s or director’s agent are invaluable. Computer knowledge is essential and website design is needed at this time. The job requires good people skills and the ability to tame chaos with super-human organizational skills.

Although a knowledge of music is not necessary, enthusiasm for our product is and you will have a chance to become acquainted with it before being asked to arrange meetings with prospective clients.

The position begins immediately and for the right person, will probably become permanent. Salary will start at $15/hour then adjust to a wage representative of applicant’s abilities and commitment.

Please send an email with photo ASAP if you are interested. Apply ASAP if you are easy-going, like people, and are a happy person. If you are into fashion and dance that is major plus, as these are the producer’s favorite art forms. Send your email ASAP if you can get excited about the international music publishing business and are able to unclutter, organize and focus a busy office. If you are tolerant, warm, professional, self-motivated and, above all, able to roll with the punches, please send a letter describing your past experience and goals immediately with a recent, representative picture.

And so, a question – is this guy real, or is he just trying to find a hot assistant to drive him around in a beaten-up 1982 Toyota Corolla? 🙂

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