how do you like your waffle?

Greetings from a Comfort Inn!
Here’s a funny bit of copywriting I found in the stacks:

COMFORT INN:
Warm. Enjoyable. Helpful.
The moment you walk into a Comfort Inn® hotel, you’ll feel at ease. You’ll notice the warm atmosphere and the personal, helpful service.

SLEEP INN:
Consistent. Confident. Value.
When you stay with Sleep Inn®, you really enjoy its good service and exceptional value. You’ll notice its unique style, familiar atmosphere, and carefully maintained facilities, knowing immediately that you picked the perfect place.

QUALITY INN:
Accommodating. Essentials. Satisfying.
Get the most out of your stay with Quality Inn®, where you’ll appreciate the friendly service, accommodating environment and the free continental breakfast.

CLARION INN:
Relaxing. Service. Upscale.

When you feel like something special, Clarion® is perfect. Engaging, but unpretentious, it offers a quality of service, amenities and inviting atmosphere associated with finer hotels, but at an affordable price.

(Note: On the Choicehotels website, the description for the CLARION has been changed to “Relaxing. Service. Distinctive.” So much for “Upscale”?)