(Please excuse this moment of “prophetism”.)
The most important – and most dangerous – questions, which an artist can explore are — “What do you want to do now? How?”
The questions are most important, because they define what you do with your art, how you live your life, from moment to moment. They are questions we should probably ask ourselves every day, but I always forget. I already have 1,000 things to do, 25 books to read, 400 emails to write, (100 friends knocking at my door on MySpace) and a schedule seemingly set for the next six months…
The questions are most dangerous, because they often defy what I do with my life.
Art is at its best when it’s impulsive, life is rather rigid.
Projects can take years to mature, but life goes on…
The hustle for new and interesting paying work is endless…
Sure, it’s beautiful and scary, alternating, dueling, greying hairs…
What is a creative atmosphere? I’m not quite sure, but I’m fairly certain that where I am is not it 90% of the time. To be creative, you need a certain taste of Bohemia; I feel dogged by an endless agenda, and all manner of things non-musical.
“Music is not surgery” I often say, but in fact the industries I’m involved in often elevate it to that very state. The trouble with making a living in music is – if you want to get paid like a surgeon, you have to do it “right”. Whatever “right” means to whomever is paying you.
But nobody wants to pay for music – not even you. I’d love to pay for it, and (though most of it comes to me for free), I do.
The only people who pay for music are people who “have” to – TV networks, brides, and churches. All of them “need” a certain kind of music, but for all of them, “music is surgery.
What to do? Not sure. But I think I have to keep looking – looking for this atmosphere where I can breathe and create freely, and still make a living.
Where is that now? I’m not sure. Hopefully nowhere I’ve already been.
But it is equally dangerous – for every Bohemian, there are at least two other people suffering at his or her mercy.
Trust me, I’ve been there. 🙂